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Today โ€” May 27th 2019The Register

If servers go down but no one hears them, did they really fail? Think about it over lunch

Then wonder why the office is in full panic mode on your return

Who, me? Three cheers for Monday! No? Just us? Well, take your mind off the start of the working week with The Register's dose of schadenfreude in the form of our regular Who, Me? Feature.…

  • May 27th 2019 at 10:02

It's all in the RISC: Arm legs it to Computex with a head full of Cortex-A77 CPU, Mali-G77 GPUs

That's enough body language puns

Chip design factory Arm is rolling another CPU core off the assembly language line: the Cortex-A77. It'll probably be the brains of high-end smartphones, modest slab-tops, and other devices shipping early next year.…

  • May 27th 2019 at 06:00

When two tribes go to war... Intel, AMD tease new chips at Computex: Your spin-free summary

2nd-gen Epyc, 3rd-gen Ryzen 7 and 9 processors, Navi GPUs, Intel 10nm CPUs, etc

AMD and Intel both teased details of their upcoming processors on Sunday at Computex, the computer industry's annual jamboree in Taiwan.…

  • May 27th 2019 at 05:31
Before yesterdayThe Register

Millions of personal files exposed by insurance biz, serial web hacker strikes again, and more from infosec land

Your two-minute guide to all the other security news this week

Roundup It's a bumper three-day weekend in the US and UK, so we won't keep you long. Here's a rapid summary of information security news from the past week beyond what El Reg has already covered.…

  • May 25th 2019 at 08:52

That magical super material Apple hopes will hit backspace on its keyboard woes? Nylon

iFixit ters dwn ew Macbook Pro wth utterfl eyoard atst fixs

The magicc new materil emedded in Apple’s vry latest Macbook Pro keyaords, to prevnt them from malfutioning, is nylon, iFixit, the popular DIY repair shop, reveled on Friay.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 23:00

Activist shareholders to target Zuck with giant angry emoji inflatable at Facebook AGM

Eight total resolutions seek to make antisocial network more accountable (the US tech giant opposes them all)

Facebook stock-owning activists are planning to deliver an eight-foot angry-looking emoji to CEO Mark Zuckerberg at the company's annual general meeting next week to highlight widespread frustration with the US web goliath.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 21:37

DXC: We axed 10k staff, shut nine data centres, closed 4.6m sq ft of office space... and sales tumbled, funnily enough

On the plus side it did hire 2,000 cheap staff in fiscal 2019

Beleaguered outsourcing badass DXC Technology has just reported another uneventful year in which $1bn in revenues evaporated, and it saved $500m in overheads, in part, by chopping 10,000 employees.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 20:53

That's just Huawei it goes, shrugs founder as analysts forecast sales slump for embattled biz

Don't worry, they have Plan Bs and spare tyres apparently

Analysts are predicting a big slump in sales for Huawei thanks to the US Department of Commerce and the ongoing trade wars.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 20:11

HP's delayed Reverb: Jesus-headset dribbles out of the echo chamber and into the channel

There were manufacturing problems! Oh, no there weren't! Oh, yes there were!

The great flagship hope of Windows Mixed Reality, the HP Reverb, has finally stumbled its way out the UK gate a month behind schedule.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 18:00

Rough quarter? Just blame falling sales on China and US trade tensions โ€“ right, HPE?

Customer delay purchaes amid uncertainty, claims CEO

HPE has blamed "trade tensions" between the US and China on customers delaying purchases amid the uncertainty as the company reported yet another quarter of declining sales.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 17:17

What do our IT pro readers make of virtualization in 2019? Here are the poll results, plus our insight and tips

Download 'The Economics of Application Platforms' for free today

Sponsored If you dig back through El Reg's archives to 2007 and 2008, you'll find a lot of coverage of how x86 virtualisation was changing the world. The name of the game was server consolidation, and IT teams were waking up to both the cost-saving benefits and the prospect of eliminating a lot of server admin drudgery.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 17:00

Uber JUMPs at chance to dump load of electric bikes across Islington

Trial starts in London borough with £25 fine for crap parking

From today folk in Islington, London, can hire an electric bike off Uber rather than a cab.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 16:10

Murdoch-backed adtech startup Unlockd ditches Google lawsuit: That'll be ยฃ200k, ta very much

Could have been a million times (or pounds) worse

A Murdoch-backed adtech startup that sued Google for anticompetitive behaviour has abandoned its lawsuit – and been landed with a £200,000 legal bill for its troubles.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 15:30

Coverage concerns dog UK Emergency Services Network as boss admits scheme too ambitious

Civil servants hauled before spending watchdog again

The UK Home Office has had to once again explain the ongoing Emergency Services Network farrago as part of an inquiry by the Public Accounts Committee (PAC).…

  • May 24th 2019 at 14:45

Headsup for those managing Windows 10 boxen: Microsoft has tweaked patching rules

One category to rule them all? Er, maybe not...

Administrators dealing with the rollout of Microsoft's latest and greatest Windows 10 were warned last night that some tinkering of their finely tuned setups would be required.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 14:11

Ofcom to Openreach: Thou shalt prise open thy network for firms targeting biz customers

Comms regulator demands BT sub lets more fibre cable layers access its poles and ducts

Updated Ofcom has ordered BT's Openreach to open its telegraph poles and underground ducts to more companies wishing to lay their own fibre networks aimed at business customers.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 12:50

Gee, SEC, how did that get out?! 'Leaked' Tesla email claims big boost in Model 3 production

Small comfort to Oracle's Larry Ellison, who's $420m *weyyy* poorer after ill-timed punt

A "leaked" email from Tesla boss Elon Musk to all employees claims the company is now making 900 Model 3 vehicles a day – a whisker (well, 11 per cent) away from its 1,000-a-day target.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 12:16

HP: Based on our Intel, don't hold your breath waiting for Chipzilla's CPU shortage to end

PC maker's chief bean counter warns Wall Street moneymen of 'constraints' until at least calendar Q3

Intel was wrong, it seems. HP Inc, the world's second-largest PC maker, has forecast that Chipzilla's CPU shortages won't be over by anytime soon – not until at least the third quarter.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 11:46

Let's make laptops from radium. How's that for planned obsolescence?

Come on, guys, get a half-life

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Its international reputation trashed by Brexit shenanigans, the UK government has been desperately trying to distract its citizens with a promise to extend the ban on single-use plastic products. It all began with disposable carrier bags. But now they're clutching at straws.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 11:15

Want to train a dragon? You'll need 500 million files, 730TB of data, 54,000 CPU cores...

DreamWorks picks Gremlin to weave digital marvels

DataStax Accelerate Family favourite DreamWorks Animation has built a cloud platform powered by microservices that uses a graph database and Gremlin query language to guide the production of its films.…

  • May 24th 2019 at 10:40
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